Search Me, O God, & Know My Heart

Psalm 139
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from afar.

3 You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

4 Even before a word is on my tongue,

behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

5 You hem me in, behind and before,

and lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high; I cannot attain it.

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

9 If I take the wings of the morning

and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

10 even there your hand shall lead me,

and your right hand shall hold me.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,

and the light about me be night,”

12 even the darkness is not dark to you;

the night is bright as the day,

for darkness is as light with you.

13 For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.

I awake, and I am still with you.

19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!

O men of blood, depart from me!

20 They speak against you with malicious intent;

your enemies take your name in vain.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?

And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?

22 I hate them with complete hatred;

I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!

These words have ministered to my soul in more ways than I can count in the last couple months.
There is something unequivocally freeing about knowing the Truth
that every single day of your life has been predetermined by the Creator King Himself.
Rejoice in knowing that there is no darkness in God,
not even a shadow.
His light shines brighter than any darkness and deceit you are currently living in.
Know that God Himself thinks good thoughts towards you
and you cannot possibly reach a low where He will not walk with you.
He will never leave you or forsake you.

Trust in this and watch as He leads you in the way everlasting.


Do You Speak Fluent Christianese?

“I have a peace about it.”
“The Lord works in mysterious ways.”
“I see so much more fruit in your life.”
“Have you picked up your cross today?”
“I’m not sure I’m in the center of God’s will.”
“To die is gain.”
“I feel led to do something else.”
“What has your sanctification process been like?”
“I was recently born again!”

Are people really producing apples and oranges like trees, carrying around a literal wooden cross during their daily routine, and seeing writing on some wall that is ‘leading’ them to an alternate option.

Not until recently did I realize how confusing and silly “Christianese” sounds to an outsider looking in.
In fact, I now find it to be just as perplexing myself.
What do we really mean by these phrases?
For that matter, do we even truly know what we mean?
Or have we just spent enough time inside Church walls to
figure out the correct lingo to make us sound like ‘super-Christians’?

Some people are truly genuine in using these phrases.
They know what they mean when they say them and have a pure heart behind it all.
I, however, threw these around when what I really meant was:
“I have no clue what I’m doing with my life.”
“Not really sure what God’s answer is on this one….”
“I would help you but……I’ll offer prayer instead.”
“I’m not really feeling it…”

I hid behind these phrases, this Christian jargon,
because I no longer had to be fully transparent and genuine,
which worked well for me.

That is, this approach worked well for me until I wanted to get to know hurting, broken people.
People just like myself,
who need to find hope and healing.
Over and over again I felt like I was speaking a different language and
being met with blank and confused stares from people.
This was probably because I was speaking a different language. 

This approach cannot possibly be the one Jesus intended us to take.
It sets a barrier in-between people
and leaves them with little hope that they will ever figure out this whole “being a Christian thing.”

So if  you have ever been personally offended or baffled by the use of Christianese,
hear me say that every follower of Jesus Christ has the same story:
We all rejected God [sinned] and needed to return to Him [repent]
and when we did we were forgiven despite of what we did [grace]
and after placing our trust [faith] in Jesus Christ, 
we found hope & were washed clean of all our sin
and promised to live eternally with God in Heaven [saved].

No human being on this Earth is a stranger to suffering, pain, tears, and defeat.
So Christianese and all other jargon aside, hear me say:
You can find rest, comfort, and unconditional love in the arms of Jesus Christ.
& He has promised that anyone who calls on His name would be saved from their sin [Rom 10:13].

And for those who have already trusted in Jesus,
may we ever & always seek to welcome in and not shut out those
who need not hear Christianese but the hope of the Gospel.